Bloody Hell
by thehonorarycompanion
Summary: Because travelling with the Doctor when it's "that time of the month" can't be easy. 11/OC, but mostly friendship.
1. Day One

**A/N - I'm not sure if this has been done before, but SERIOUSLY, travelling with the Doctor on your period can't be easy. Because he's innocent (sorta) and oblivious, and you don't really get a chance to lay down and wish death upon yourself.**

**This is only going to be five chapters, just so you know.**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Doctor Who. I only own my OC, Emma Walker.**

* * *

"Emma!"

"Mmm."

"Wake up!"

"Mmm."

"Rise and shine, there are adventures to be had and planets to be discovered!" The Doctor jumped onto the bed, bouncing up and down as he hovered over Emma. "Wake up!" He yanked the covers off, laughing when he saw her curled up in the fetal position. "Come on, you've been asleep for eight hours! It's time to get up and face the day!"

"No." Eyes closed, she reached out for the blankets. He pulled them farther back. "Give me my warmth back or I'll pinch you, I swear to God."

"Okay!" He decided that was a good time to lay down on top of her. He quickly realized his mistake when he felt her knee slam into his thigh, thankfully just missing...other parts. "Oi!" He scrambled off of her. "_Someone_ got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

She sat up, giving him the cruelest glare she could muster. She almost felt pride when he shrunk back. "Who woke me up?" She climbed out of bed, one hand on her lower back as pain shot through it. "Right, just let me get myself together and we'll be off."

The Doctor watched her leave, leaning back against the pillows with his hands behind his head. She was barely gone for a minute before he heard her yelling out a string of expletives. He furrowed his brow in confusion and jumped up, running out into the hallway. "Emma?" He knocked on the door that lead to the toilet. "Are you alright?"

"You've got to be kidding me!" He heard a crash and the creak of a cupboard being opened. "Oh, of _course_! Toilet paper, razors, _wrinkle cream_! Why the hell is there _wrinkle cream_? Everything but what I need!"

"Emma?" He raised his hand to knock on the door, but it swung open before he could. He gulped when he saw a very angry and disheveled Emma standing in front of him. "What's the matter?"

"I need to go shopping."

"What?" He frowned. "The TARDIS has everything you could possibly need. What is it?"

She sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Sorry to burst your bubble, but she doesn't have everything. Take me to the shop, or I won't hesitate to rip off your-"

"Alright, alright!" He held his hands up. "We'll go."

* * *

The Doctor twiddled his thumbs, watching them as if his life depended on it. Emma had been gone for nearly ten minutes and he was starting to get _bored_. He would have gone with her, if it hadn't been for her punching his arm when he tried to follow her out the door. He was pretty sure he had a bruise. He hopped out of the chair when the door opened, stumbling over his own feet. "What took you so long?"

She glared at him and reached into the bag in her hand, pelting a package at him. He fumbled to get a grip on it. "I got you something that might make you piss off for a while."

"Jammie Dodgers?" He grinned. "Wonderful!" He went to tear the package open, but stopped. "What else have you got?" Through the clear bag, he could see a green square. "Is that a box of tea bags? Oh, tea and Jammie Dodgers!"

"No!" She yanked the bag out of his reach. "Look, I'm going to go to the loo and then bed. _You_ are going to...tinker with the TARDIS engine or whatever it is you do when I'm not around. Okay?" She didn't wait for an answer, just spun on her heel and made her way up the stairs.

"Wait! I woke you up to go on an adventure!"

"I'm trying to care, Doctor!" She yelled back. "I really am!"

**A/N - Alright, I'm writing this because I thought it would be funny. And relatable. Well, not relatable considering the Doctor isn't real...but I think all us girls can agree that at some point in the month we just wouldn't be having fun while travelling if he was real. I don't know. Let me know if I should post the other four chapters!**


	2. Day Two

**A/N - Thank you to DoubleHeartedHuman, ConfusedSoAmI, Little Nerdling, MrsMattSmith23, superster, and 11Dr. Luv for reviewing!**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Doctor Who. I only own my OC, Emma Walker.**

* * *

It had been a day. Okay, twenty-two hours, forty-three minutes, and seventeen seconds, but that was _nearly_ a day. A day of wandering aimlessly around the TARDIS, tinkering with the engine, and re-reading books, while Emma stayed in her bedroom. The Doctor had moved on from bored and became irritated. He didn't move on from bored, actually. He was bored _and _irritated. It was at twenty-two hours, forty-three minutes, and twenty-two seconds that he decided to find out what was going on. He remembered her saying she was going to the loo before bed, so he went there first. Maybe she left that green thing in there.

When he tried to be cool and somersault into the room, only to end up flat on the floor, he was glad no one was there to see him. He'd have to learn how to do a somersault and then show it off to Emma at some point. Preferably when he was a master at it and when she didn't want to bite his head off. He shook his head, realizing he was still splayed on the tile, so he got up and looked around. At first, he didn't see anything, but he soon noticed that the cupboard beneath the sink was open and the plastic bag was crumpled on the floor beside it. Grinning to himself, he dived for the cupboard and pulled out the green package. He was going to find out what was wrong with her.

Only he didn't. It told him absolutely nothing. "_Always_." He sounded the word out as if he'd never said it before. "Always what? Always angry? Always snapping at the poor Doctor for no apparent reason?" He was too busy talking to himself to notice her standing in the doorway.

"What are you doing?"

In his surprise, not only did he fall right on his arse, but he accidentally ripped the package open, sending its contents scattering all over the room. One of the little squares fell in his lap. "Emma!" He didn't bother to clean any of it up. Or to even move from where he was sitting. "What are you doing up?"

"I had to pee." She was holding onto the doorjamb with one hand, he noticed. The other was placed on her stomach. Her eyes ran over the room. "You went through my things."

"Yes. Sorry." He hoped he _sounded_ sorry because he really wasn't. It's not his fault she was keeping secrets from him. He lifted the square from his lap and looked at in confusion, only stopping when he saw her glare.

"Could you get out now? You've invaded my privacy, you could at least let me go to the toilet in peace. Unless you want to watch?" She snapped.

He blushed and flung the thing to the floor, grabbing onto the sink to pull himself to his feet. "Right. I'll just..." He was halfway out the door when he remembered. He'd spent practically one whole day consumed by boredom and it was _her_ fault. "Wait a minute!" He grabbed her arm before she could step inside, spinning her around to face him. "Look, you've been sleeping for _hours_ and I've been bored for _hours_. I gave you time to get over whatever is going on with you, so now I deserve some fun." Even a lizard could take that sentence the wrong way. "I mean, of course..." He struggled to find the right words, his face becoming a deeper red. "We're going on an adventure." He finally said. "Is that clear?"

The look on her face could probably kill him. He instantly regretted being so cruel about it all, cursing himself for letting his boredom get to him. He was about to apologize for it so she wouldn't stab him when she said, "Crystal." His eyes widened. "Just give me a minute." She shoved him out of the room and slammed the door shut. He just stared at the wall for a minute.

She'd actually agreed to going and he came out uninjured. Maybe he should try anger more...no. That wouldn't end well for either of them.

Waiting for her in the hallway, he decided not to press his luck and countdown to a minute. That would guarantee him no adventure and, possibly, no limbs.

* * *

"Run!" The Doctor grabbed Emma's hand and dragged her behind him as he dodged trees, rocks, and whatever else got in his way. He laughed when he saw a fallen tree about a yard ahead. "And jump!" He released her hand to leap over it. "Now, I believe I parked the TARDIS somewhere..." He looked around, pausing when his eyes landed on her. She was frozen, eyes wide. "Emma?"

"You best find the TARDIS quick." The look on her face showed that she was uncomfortable for some reason and she slowly made her way to him, keeping her legs together.

"What's the matter?"

"Well, one, we're about to be killed." She frowned. "And two, I really need the loo."

He started to nod, but stopped. "You just went not even an hour ago! How could you possibly need to-" He was cut off by the sound of chanting and he knew they actually did need to find the TARDIS. He was relieved to see a sliver of blue between some trees. "Right, this way." He grabbed onto her wrist.

"Oh, can we not do the running thi-" It was too late. He was already pulling her along as fast as he could.

As the chanting got louder, he pushed her into the box before stepping in after her. He ran to the console and hit buttons and pulled levers, until the ship took off. "That was a close-" Emma wasn't anywhere in the room. "Emma?" He heard a door close in the distance and he groaned, knowing she was peeing yet again. How many times could one person- His eyes widened in realization. Mood swings, frequent urination, excessive sleep, her hand often on her abdomen... "No." He scoffed. "It can't be." He found his eyes going to the stairs that lead to the hallway. It wasn't possible, was it?

She couldn't be..._pregnant_.

* * *

**A/N - Ah, and the Doctor thinks she's pregnant! That's going to be fun, isn't it? The next chapter will be in Emma's POV. Oh, and I'm definitely with Emma on the whole not running thing. Possibly one of the most uncomfortable things to do during that time, aside from, you know, **_**existing**_**.**


	3. Day Three

**A/N - Thank you to Ms. Unusual-in-Groovy-Ways, watergoddesskasey, superster, UltimateDoctorWhoFanGirl, Guest, Link's Twin, chimaera198, Ali, 11Dr. Luv, and Lady Island Rose for reviewing!**

**I wasn't expecting such a great response :)**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Doctor Who. I only own my OC, Emma Walker.**

* * *

Emma woke up with a smile on her face. Of course, she still felt like absolute crap, but she knew it would only be a few more days before it was over. She laid in the warm bed for a couple more minutes before she sat up...and proceeded to scream when she saw the Doctor watching her. "What...the...heck?" Her hand went to her chest as she gasped for breath. He snapped out of whatever trance he was in, a blush taking over his face.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you!"

"Were you watching me sleep?" She climbed out of bed with her arms crossed over her chest, suddenly not comfortable in her tank top and shorts. "How often do you do that, _Edward Cullen_?"

He shook his head, holding his hands up. "No, I'd never...I was coming to wake you up, but you looked too peaceful."

"Oh." She let her arms fall to her sides. Though, they were right back up when she remembered that he often woke her up without a second thought. "_Oh_, that's a terrible lie, I mean. Last week, you woke me up ten minutes after I fell asleep because you got lonely!" A disgusted look appeared on her face. "You don't watch me when you get _lonely_, do you?"

"I don't watch you sleep!" He snapped. He took a deep breath and the anger faded from his face. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled. I was going to ask you if you wanted to join me for breakfast?"

Pretty sure now that he was telling the truth, she went to agree. Wait, he _never _apologized for snapping at her, unless he'd scared her. And he never ate breakfast with her. She told him that before giving him a wary look. "What's going on? Are you dying?" Tears welled up in her eyes at the thought. Damn her hormones. At least she wasn't filled with anger anymore. That was one of the many reasons she hated the first two days of her monthly "gift".

"No. No!" He grabbed her shoulders, not even hesitating to place a kiss on her forehead. "Oh, Emma, please don't cry. You don't want to be stressed, okay?"

That confused her even more. She pulled back to look at him. "Why wouldn't I want to be stressed?" He was acting even weirder than usual and she was pretty determined to figure it out. Maybe he found out about her problem... "Uh, never mind. Just let me go to the loo and I'll be right there, okay?" She almost fainted when he agreed right away and left the room without another word.

* * *

"No, no, no, you shouldn't be lifting anything heavy!"

Emma looked from the Doctor, to the item in her hand, and back again. "It's a bagel." She went to continue slicing it in half, but he grabbed both the bagel and knife from her hands. "Oi!" Okay, knowing what was wrong with her or not, he was acting _weird_. "What is the matter with you? Give that back!" He held it out of her reach.

"No." The son of a bitch actually threw the bagel into the sink with all the dirty dishes. "You need something healthy, like...like salad!" He slapped his hands together. "Let's visit Giacomo Junia, I'm sure he can whip you up a nice Caesar salad!"

"I don't _want_ salad." Her anger from the previous two days was beginning to come back as she lifted the now soggy bagel out of the sink. "I _wanted_ a bagel."

"Oh, of course! Cravings! I suppose it's alright to give into those every so often." He opened the bread bin with a grin on his face, but it quickly fell. "We don't have anymore bagels. Well, that's alright! I'll buy you some!" He started out the door, but she grabbed his arm.

"What are you being so nice to me for?" Though she didn't consider him throwing her food into the sink as nice, everything else he was doing was far too nice. "I mean, letting me sleep because I looked peaceful, having breakfast with me, offering to buy me bagels! That's not you! That's the complete opposite of-" She was cut off by a sharp pain in her abdomen. "Oh, ow." He released his arm to put a hand to her stomach.

The horror on his face was almost comical. "No! No, no, no!" He fell to his knees in front of her, grabbing her waist and putting his face too close to her stomach for comfort. "Hang in there! I'm going to get you to a hospital!"

"Why the _hell_," she shoved him back. "are you yelling at my uterus?"

"I'm not yelling at your uterus! I'm yelling to the baby!"

And then Emma started laughing so hard that she almost forgot about the pain. "B-baby? You think I'm pregnant? Oh, God bless you!" She reached down to cup his face in her hands, placing a kiss on his forehead. "I needed a good laugh!"

He pushed her hands away and rose to his feet, scratching the back of his head. "So, you're not pregnant?"

"No!" She managed to calm down to the occasional giggle. "When would I have the time to get myself pregnant? I've been too busy travelling with you, stupid!"

"Then _what _is the matter with you?" He threw his hands in the air, a look of anger on his face. "The past few days all you've done is get mad at me! And I don't know _anyone_ who's gone to the toilet as much as you!"

Her laughter faded completely and she cleared her throat. "You mean, this never happened with Amy?" He shook his head. "Not with any other females you had on board?" Another shake of his head had her face falling. "Oh..."

"Why?" He raised an eyebrow. "Is it a _girly _thing? What is it?"

"Well...um...when a girl reaches a certain age, she...she starts...you know what? I need time to prepare for this." Her stomach growled so she reached out and grabbed a banana from the fruit basket on the table. "I'll be back."

* * *

**A/N - I hope that was good enough! And oh no that dreaded period talk (that I thankfully never got, bless) is going to be in the next chapter.**

**Also, a preview!**

_**"This happens every month?"**_

_**"Yes."**_

_**"Every single month?"**_

_**"Usually."**_

_**"...I'm sorry."**_


End file.
